


Reconnecting

by Shadadukal



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Legacy of the Force Series - Aaron Allston & Troy Denning & Karen Traviss
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-08
Updated: 2007-06-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadadukal/pseuds/Shadadukal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during and just after "Legacy of the Force: Exile". Au-ish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reconnecting

**Author's Note:**

> Some dialogue lines have been taken directly from the book and so were written by Aaron Allston.
> 
> I decided to write this to give a little bit more to Jaina/Jag fans coz there had to have been more happening during that time frame. This story retells some scenes from 'Exile' from Jaina's POV as well as adds some filler scenes covering Jag and Jaina's relationship.
> 
> Beta: Alygator and Anywhere_but_nj at Live Journal

He hadn't even said 'hello'. His face hidden by his cloak, not turning back. She had sensed unfriendliness from him, even some anger. He had walked away before she could add anything to their very brief exchange.

She was elated he had survived his crash on Tenupe four years ago. Even this short encounter, seeing him only wrapped in a dark cloak, had reawakened long-buried feelings inside her. Memories of what they had shared during the Yuuzhan Vong war assailed her. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him. In those times when she had nothing left but her Jedi duties, with a twin brother that had fired on her and her parents, forcing them to run away and hide, she was lost, not knowing what to do. Seeing Jag again reminded her of happier times – despite the death of her brother Anakin and the grief it had caused her. Jag had been a great source of comfort then.

*

Uncle Luke had ordered her into the Jedi Temple vehicle hangar, telling her he wanted to see her. As the door slid open, she walked in, instantly spotting Luke. She stopped walking when she noticed the man standing at his side, Jagged Fel, a bearded Jag Fel. That was new.

Luke's words washed over her and then she assimilated them. Working with Jag...she couldn't; she felt the undercurrents of hostility towards her coming from Jag, though she didn't understand why he felt that way.

She tried to say no, refuse Luke's orders, but he would have none of it. He walked away, leaving them alone.

She felt Jag's anger as he spoke to her, even though he tried to hide it.

"He knows why I wouldn't want to work with you and has decided to disregard my wishes. I'll have to assume that his reasoning is sound, whatever it is, until proven otherwise." Apparently, that settled the issue for him as he added: "All right, let's do some strategic planning."

She couldn't understand why he was so hostile. It hurt her that he felt that way.

"Why wouldn't you want to? Because of what happened with the Dark Nest?"

Jag tried to sweep the issue under the rug but, angry, she insisted, demanding an answer.

He finally lost his temper and snapped at her.

Jag blamed her for what had happened to him, with good reason it seemed. She wished she could do something to help him but she knew it was impossible. All she could do was try and patch up their friendship but she could tell now wasn't a good time for that. Instead she slipped into her warrior persona.

"All right. Strategic planning," she finally said.

*

After a short strategic discussion about Alema with Jag, Jaina went to Zekk's quarters to check on him and inform him of their assignment. She left before he could react to the news. She knew he disliked Jag and she didn't want to be confronted with that right now. She needed to think.

She locked the doors of her own quarters once she was inside. She took off her boots and sat down on her bed in a meditation position. First, she concentrated on her breathing, sitting with her back straight as a rod. Once she was calmed and relaxed, she examined the events of the Dark Nest crisis, considering her and Jag's parts in it. She could see why Jag was blaming her. But she also realized she had never stopped loving him, no matter how much she had tried to convince herself she was over him. And she felt that Jag was that angry with her because, despite her part in his fall from grace, he loved her still. This foolish hope warmed up her heart. She tried to quell it. She was the Sword of the Jedi and that meant she would always be alone. At least, that was what she had understood from Luke's cryptic words to her. She had better try to distance herself from Jag and remain professional while around him. She didn't want to cause him more pain as she was certainly bound to. She concentrated on her breathing again to focus on other feelings that needed exploring, like those about the recent events that had happened in the Hapes Cluster.

*

 

In the office of the Jedi temple assigned to the Alema task force, there was at times a tense atmosphere,… such as now. Jaina could feel the rivalry between the two shirtless men doing chin-ups as she observed them discreetly. She admired their bodies, nothing showing on her face. Looking at Jag caused a shiver to run down her spine and desire to pool low in her body. The man was a distraction.

The three of them talked strategy briefly before Jaina sent them off to the refresher. Jag insisted Zekk go first. She pushed her desire for him away from her mind and addressed Jag somewhat harshly, without really intending too.

"Was there something else, Colonel?"

She could feel her comment stung him. She almost went after him as he left, but his leaving was what she wanted, wasn’t it? So she sat back down, feeling conflicted, not knowing what she desired deep inside.

*

During a sparring session with Zekk, they began talking about what being the Sword of the Jedi could mean.

"Maybe it means you're the new Chosen One," Zekk speculated.

Still crossing blades with Zekk, Jaina objected.

"There's no Emperor for me to hurl down a well."

"There's Lumiya," Jag interrupted from the edge of the training mat. Jaina stopped fighting and turned towards Jag. He continued: "The Chosen One destroyed the leader of the Sith. Lumiya's Sith, correct?"

Zekk was dismissive of Jag's intervention.

"She's what's _left_ of the Sith. I doubt that it will take someone who fills a once-in-a-generation prophetic role, if that's what the Sword is, to eliminate her."

But Jaina was curious about hearing Jag's thoughts on the matter.

"I want to hear this."

She sat down in front of him, ready to hear his speculations. He seemed concerned about her.

"If the Force was speaking through the Grand Master when he pronounced you the Sword of the Jedi, and if the Sword is anything like the Chosen One, then there's some sort of imbalance that needs to be addressed. And that would seem to point to Lumiya."

"Maybe our task force needs to be pursuing her instead of Alema Rar," Jaina continued.

Zekk was aggressive and dismissive when addressing Jag.

"She fought the Grand Master to a standstill. She's Master level. We're two Jedi Knights and one Force-blind space jockey."

That angered her: "Zekk, that was uncalled for."

Zekk continued: "I'm just explaining, correctly and logically, that Fel is not an asset when it comes to matters of the Force. And this sort of analysis is something that Fel knows quite a lot about. Didn't you once told Jaina I wasn't a good enough pilot to join her squadron? Wasn't that cool, level-headed analysis?"

When Jag answered, he took them both by surprise, admitting what he had done.

"No, that wasn't analysis. That was me being a jealous lover, trying to keep you out of the way. And that's something you know all about. A lover's jealousy. Otherwise you wouldn't hover like a brooding hawk-bat whenever I walk up to ask Jaina the time."

Jaina was fuming. They were arguing over her and she was standing right there!

"Boys, you're making me angry."

But the argument was interrupted by a signal coming from Jag's datapad, and soon, they were all on their way to the _Errant Venture_ to do whatever needed to be done to stop Alema if she was still there.

*

On the _Errant Venture_ , while planning for a strike against Alema, the tension and disapproval between Jag and Zekk was obvious to everyone but nobody commented on it. After the meeting was over, Jag came towards her and told her softly, speaking only for her: "I need about five minutes to get some equipment from my X-Wing." His closeness almost overwhelmed her. Only her Jedi training prevented her reaction from being noticed and her from acting upon it.

*

On their way to the Gilatter System aboard the _Galactic Voyager_ , Jaina went to check on Jag. He had been buried under some crates on the _Errant Venture_. His wearing armor had prevented him from getting seriously harmed but she was worried about him. Like the Jedi present here, Jag had been assigned quarters near the docking bay that was reserved for the Jedi's Stealth Xs. She knocked on his door. On his acknowledgement, she entered. His face was unreadable and she felt little in the Force coming from him. The best way she could describe it would be 'careful neutrality'.

"Jag, are you all right? You weren't hurt, were you?" she asked tentatively.

"No, I wasn't," he answered. Then he added hesitantly: "Thank you for asking."

"What you said about the Sword of the Jedi… that was really interesting… to hear a perspective on it from outside the order. Thanks."

That wasn't what she really wanted to talk about but that was a much safer topic.

Jag inclined his head a little to the side, as if to look at her from a different angle.

"Jaina, why are you here?"

"I…" she started but stopped. Taking a deep breath, she asked: "Are you ever going to forgive me?"

He sighed and turned away from her, looking up. Then, he let his head drop again.

"Jaina," he said in a whisper, "I don't _blame_ you. What happened was my own fault. I shouldn’t have…" he stopped.

"Jag," she began, touching his arm lightly.

Suddenly, he turned back toward her and, before she could feel it coming, his mouth was on hers, his tongue slipping inside her mouth, his strong arms crushing her to him roughly. She was so surprised that she didn't know how to react. Her body took over and her hands wrapped around his neck, her fingers raking his hair as she returned the passionate kiss.

They finally broke apart for much needed air and stared at each other from a short distance. Before they could speak, an alarm sounded, announcing they were needed at their fighters. Jaina moved away from Jag's embrace silently and opened the door, getting out of the small room. A few seconds later, Jag followed.

*

After the battle, while en route to Coruscant, Jaina was pondering what had happened earlier with Jag, trying to find out what she wanted to do, which was difficult considering she had two contrary instincts: keep love at bay or jump back into Jag's arms. No matter what she did, she would still love him. But if she chose to be with him again, he would certainly be a distraction, a weakness.

She heard a soft knock on her door and she felt Jag on the other side of the door.

"Come in!" she replied.

Jag walked in and stayed by the door as it slid shut behind him.

"About earlier…" he began, "I need to ask: was that a momentary lapse of judgment on your part, or did it mean something else?"

She opened her mouth but no answer came out. She didn't know what to say.

Jag continued, his voice taking on a desperate edge.

"Jaina, I understand you've probably moved on, but I want you to know that I still love you. What happened earlier won't happen again if you don't want it. I'm professional enough that I can work with you without my feelings getting in the way."

He stopped, waiting for an answer.

Jaina still couldn't speak.

"I'll take whatever you can give me for as long as you can, " he finished, not having anything left to say.

"Jag, I…" she hesitated, "I still have feelings for you too. But I'm thinking about what being the Sword of the Jedi can mean and I don't want to drag you into it."

He stepped closer to her. "Don't try to make my decisions for me, Jaina."

"All right, I won't, "she answered, raising her chin in defiance. "But, if I tell you at one point to walk out of my life, please, just do so."

"Jaina, I want you to be happy, to live, and not just be a Jedi. I'll do whatever makes you happy, even if that means leaving you."

"Jag, you… I…"

She stopped. Frustrated by not knowing what she wanted. Angered by his kindness and selflessness. Aroused by his closeness. She took a deep breath, listening to whatever instinct was stronger at that very moment. Once more, her body took over and she was in his arms again, lost to the feeling of his lips on hers.

She walked backwards towards the bed, a hand behind his neck, the other at his waist.

Drawing back a little, he murmured "Jaina?" against her lips, as if asking for permission. She opened her eyes, letting him see the passion in them before kissing him again. Her legs bumped into the bed and she let herself fall backwards, taking him with her, never breaking the kiss.


End file.
